I truly have nothing of import to say today. All I have to offer is some small observations I made today; the sorts of things some would put on Facebook. But it's something, I guess:
1.) There seems to be an epidemic of broken arms at my schools: I saw two of my students at Hanmin today wearing casts and slings, and one of my students at Qingshan apparently broke her arm during Sports Day.
2.) A student cried in one of my classes today, after her teammates tried unsuccessfully to teach her a new word and they lost a game. Sometimes I'm glad I don't teach younger grades, where this is a common occurence...
3.) I finished The Hunger Games today. They lose hope in the third book, and I found myself wishing I could have skipped it and just read the epilogue instead. The first book is undoubtedly the best, as is usually the case with series.
4.) I continue to hate international banking, as I discovered today that my carefully-measured-and-planned-out money transfer had been deducted on the receiving end, in addition to the fee I had already paid to transfer. Hate this part about living overseas.
5.) I discovered that my plans to go to the gym or not can hinge upon such a simple factor as whether or not I have my headphones ready to go with me.
6.) For such a beautiful place with so many tourist attractions, it is remarkably hard to find accommodations on Green Island (綠島). On the plus side, trains make its mainland cousin, Taitung, easy to reach.
7.) Last but not least, I am so excited for my mom to come visit me! She'll be here Saturday, and though the preparations are still coming together (see item 6), I'm sure we'll have a blast either way.
So, for not having much to say, at least I was able to conjure up one of my faithful lists!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Loose ends
My brain these past few days has been a tangled mess of different countries and numbers, figures and names bouncing from point to point as I try to determine which flight to take, which hotel to book, when to send which documents, how much money to send to my bank account back home. Taiwan, Thailand, America, Japan; Hualien, Meinong, Green Island, Taipei, Chiang Mai, Bangkok, Phuket; Texas, Tennessee, Washington, Ohio, New York. Too many locations; too many numbers. They simply won't queue.
By today, at least, I have managed to bring a fair amount of them into line. Over the course of many hours, many websites, some help from Fonda, some help from my mom, an email from an adviser from my university, and a solitary trip to the bank, I am now assured of a place to stay in Hualien and Taipei; a flight to and from Thailand (internal flights are still sticky, though...); loan deferment sent; money transferred home; necessary items purchased.
And I even managed to make myself a complete meal tonight on a single burner!
One thing I will not miss about living in Taiwan is the immense hassle it is to deal with multiple financial systems, which collectively rely upon the archaic system of wiring money whenever it needs to be moved across continents and international borders. It's especially odd given how very open our world's borders seem to be to trade in general; I can only hope that businesses have better tools at their disposal than I do.
On the plus side, the bank's staff definitely recognizes me and invariably ushers me directly to the sole bank employee who speaks passable English.
This is rather a random post, and I must say that this is neither more nor less than a reflection of my current state of mind. Planning for multiple trips while planning multiple months' budgets from multiple bank accounts in multiple countries produces nothing if not a sense of scattered-ness. And with so many loose ends floating around, it's all I can do to grab at a few in passing and try to fasten them down before they strangle me.
By today, at least, I have managed to bring a fair amount of them into line. Over the course of many hours, many websites, some help from Fonda, some help from my mom, an email from an adviser from my university, and a solitary trip to the bank, I am now assured of a place to stay in Hualien and Taipei; a flight to and from Thailand (internal flights are still sticky, though...); loan deferment sent; money transferred home; necessary items purchased.
And I even managed to make myself a complete meal tonight on a single burner!
One thing I will not miss about living in Taiwan is the immense hassle it is to deal with multiple financial systems, which collectively rely upon the archaic system of wiring money whenever it needs to be moved across continents and international borders. It's especially odd given how very open our world's borders seem to be to trade in general; I can only hope that businesses have better tools at their disposal than I do.
On the plus side, the bank's staff definitely recognizes me and invariably ushers me directly to the sole bank employee who speaks passable English.
This is rather a random post, and I must say that this is neither more nor less than a reflection of my current state of mind. Planning for multiple trips while planning multiple months' budgets from multiple bank accounts in multiple countries produces nothing if not a sense of scattered-ness. And with so many loose ends floating around, it's all I can do to grab at a few in passing and try to fasten them down before they strangle me.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Christmas Lights
"Merry Christmas!" I was just stepping through the gate into my apartment complex, and the words caught me somewhat off guard as I looked up to see the one of our doormen who speaks some English grinning ear to ear as he helped a colleague string a rope of blue lights across the archway.
"Thanks," I replied, and gestured upward. "They look great!"
I headed back to my apartment with a huge grin on my face, loving that, even here in Taiwan, at least my apartment will have Christmas lights. It wasn't something I'd anticipated; with the exception of a small section in Carrefour and a one sprawling out of the local stationary store, there are next to no Christmas decorations here. It takes a little thinking to remember that, by this time at home, many homes are fully decked out for the holiday, from twinkling lights to wreaths to snowman figurines to nativity scenes to Christmas trees.
Not so here. Christmas in Taiwan is not a national holiday; like Halloween, some people now celebrate it, having learned about it from Western pop culture or, if they're Christians, from church, but for many people here it's not a big deal. I'm lucky that this year Christmas falls on a Sunday; if it were during the school week, I would be teaching just like on any other day.
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and not just because of the obvious perk of the gifts. No, what makes Christmas special for me is the anticipation of the holiday, the getting ready; the picking out of the perfect gift for someone; the general spirit of joy as people take a bit of time to think, not of their own desires, but of others'. Yes, I know that in the West, especially, Christmas has become a materialistic holiday focused on the gifts. But, for me, the joy is truly in buying for others, more than receiving.
And then there's the family aspect of it. Maybe part of it is because it's a winter holiday, but I associate Christmas with an intense aspect of coming together as one; when I think of Christmas, I see my family sitting around talking as we open gifts, and later my extended family filling my house to the seams, alternately stoking the fire and flinging open the windows. I imagine our house from the outside on that day, lit from the inside and emanating light and heat to the world. It's an appropriate image for the real meaning of the holiday, I think: light in the midst of darkness; love in the midst of emptiness.
I know it's a little early for a post on Christmas. But my doorman's greeting reminded me of what I was missing, and also showed me a link between home and here.
See, before I left my apartment today, I got to chat with my parents; hear my dad talk about putting Christmas lights up today and hear my mom tell my my brother's seasonal tree-selling business is doing fantastic.
And after that conversation, coming back to Christmas decorations was perfect: a reminder that Christmas doesn't have to be in a certain location, and that fellowship and light does not have a singular residence in Eugene, Oregon. That, while Christmas in Kaohsiung will never be the same as Christmas in Eugene, it will still be Christmas. Lights will still shine-- and not only on my building.
"Thanks," I replied, and gestured upward. "They look great!"
I headed back to my apartment with a huge grin on my face, loving that, even here in Taiwan, at least my apartment will have Christmas lights. It wasn't something I'd anticipated; with the exception of a small section in Carrefour and a one sprawling out of the local stationary store, there are next to no Christmas decorations here. It takes a little thinking to remember that, by this time at home, many homes are fully decked out for the holiday, from twinkling lights to wreaths to snowman figurines to nativity scenes to Christmas trees.
Not so here. Christmas in Taiwan is not a national holiday; like Halloween, some people now celebrate it, having learned about it from Western pop culture or, if they're Christians, from church, but for many people here it's not a big deal. I'm lucky that this year Christmas falls on a Sunday; if it were during the school week, I would be teaching just like on any other day.
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and not just because of the obvious perk of the gifts. No, what makes Christmas special for me is the anticipation of the holiday, the getting ready; the picking out of the perfect gift for someone; the general spirit of joy as people take a bit of time to think, not of their own desires, but of others'. Yes, I know that in the West, especially, Christmas has become a materialistic holiday focused on the gifts. But, for me, the joy is truly in buying for others, more than receiving.
And then there's the family aspect of it. Maybe part of it is because it's a winter holiday, but I associate Christmas with an intense aspect of coming together as one; when I think of Christmas, I see my family sitting around talking as we open gifts, and later my extended family filling my house to the seams, alternately stoking the fire and flinging open the windows. I imagine our house from the outside on that day, lit from the inside and emanating light and heat to the world. It's an appropriate image for the real meaning of the holiday, I think: light in the midst of darkness; love in the midst of emptiness.
I know it's a little early for a post on Christmas. But my doorman's greeting reminded me of what I was missing, and also showed me a link between home and here.
See, before I left my apartment today, I got to chat with my parents; hear my dad talk about putting Christmas lights up today and hear my mom tell my my brother's seasonal tree-selling business is doing fantastic.
And after that conversation, coming back to Christmas decorations was perfect: a reminder that Christmas doesn't have to be in a certain location, and that fellowship and light does not have a singular residence in Eugene, Oregon. That, while Christmas in Kaohsiung will never be the same as Christmas in Eugene, it will still be Christmas. Lights will still shine-- and not only on my building.
| View from my window tonight. :) |
Late nights, early mornings
My mom is convinced that I'm a secret morning person, but nothing could be further from the truth. (In case you need convincing, check the time stamp on this blog post--I'm beginning it just after 2:30am.)
To some extent, this has worked to my advantage here, 16 hours ahead of the vast majority of my friends and family. In a course of cyclical reasoning, my family and the time difference are actually why I'm up right now: I've been Skyping with my mom, dad, and younger brother for a few hours, watching my mom's always-alert morning self in contrast with my brother's squinting just-woke-up face and my dad's slow ascent from awake to functioning, over the course of a cup of coffee. (Yep, that's where I got it from.)
But by all accounts, I shouldn't be up right now, since I was up late last night talking to family, too, but was still up early (for me) this morning, ready for a trip to Tainan with my wonderful host family and Rachel. The getting-ready process definitely involved chugging a bottled latte in 7-11 right as my host family pulled up, since I'm fresh out of coffee beans and I recently discovered my non-caffeinated propensity towards headaches.
We had a fabulous day, visiting such landmarks as the Eternal Golden Fort, Anping Old Fort, Anping Tree House (probably my favorite place EVER), Chihkan Tower, and the Confucius Temple. Unfortunately, we were dogged by what seemed to be a whole-city celebration of some Daoist deity's birthday, complete with a multi-pronged parade of gongs, drums, horns, incense and firecrackers--SO MANY FIRECRACKERS--but aside from that, the locations were gorgeous and the weather could not have been better. Rachel described it well by saying it reminded her of the first day after the snow melts in New Hampshire. I, of course, have never experienced that particular day, but it reminded me of the first day in May that reminds you that eventually summer will come. Glorious.
Of course, with any Taiwanese city, the main event is the food, and Tainan didn't disappoint. Their famous shrimp rolls, which I was a bit nervous to try, since I tend to steer clear of seafood, were absolutely DELICIOUS, tasting mostly of onion. So was the shaved ice we had later (though it tasted of strawberry and sweetened condensed milk, thankfully). And the coffin-cover bread with which we finished out the day.
Probably the highlight of my day was the Anping Tree House, which is actually an old warehouse from the early days of European-Asian trade which has been abandoned to the banyan trees, which in turn eagerly incorporated themselves into the floors, walls, windows and even roofs of the giant building. The even coils of banyan root run everywhere over the old brickwork, giving the impression that you've stumbled into ruins much older than a few hundred years, and perhaps at the center of an Indiana Jones film.
Also at Anping Tree House (and everywhere else), Rachel and I re-encountered the blatant stares and paparazzi-like photo-stalking of us which we had seen in mainland China in our various excursions there. It's interesting, really: for the most part, Taiwanese people are largely unphased by our clearly-Western presence (though not enough to stop the steady flow of 'hello's which sound oddly like the speaker is half cat-calling, half proudly practicing his one English word that we got multiple times today), but mainland Chinese tourists are still awestruck and fascinated by us. Go sight-seeing in Taiwan, and you feel like you're back in mainland China--and you realize how very normal your life in Kaohsiung is.
But here I encounter once again my as-yet-unnamed situation in which I have no energy left to write about my day because I simply had too much fun living it. And, while I have no school tomorrow, thanks to Sports Day yesterday, my morning should still be at least existent, if not early. And this is a very late night.
To some extent, this has worked to my advantage here, 16 hours ahead of the vast majority of my friends and family. In a course of cyclical reasoning, my family and the time difference are actually why I'm up right now: I've been Skyping with my mom, dad, and younger brother for a few hours, watching my mom's always-alert morning self in contrast with my brother's squinting just-woke-up face and my dad's slow ascent from awake to functioning, over the course of a cup of coffee. (Yep, that's where I got it from.)
But by all accounts, I shouldn't be up right now, since I was up late last night talking to family, too, but was still up early (for me) this morning, ready for a trip to Tainan with my wonderful host family and Rachel. The getting-ready process definitely involved chugging a bottled latte in 7-11 right as my host family pulled up, since I'm fresh out of coffee beans and I recently discovered my non-caffeinated propensity towards headaches.
We had a fabulous day, visiting such landmarks as the Eternal Golden Fort, Anping Old Fort, Anping Tree House (probably my favorite place EVER), Chihkan Tower, and the Confucius Temple. Unfortunately, we were dogged by what seemed to be a whole-city celebration of some Daoist deity's birthday, complete with a multi-pronged parade of gongs, drums, horns, incense and firecrackers--SO MANY FIRECRACKERS--but aside from that, the locations were gorgeous and the weather could not have been better. Rachel described it well by saying it reminded her of the first day after the snow melts in New Hampshire. I, of course, have never experienced that particular day, but it reminded me of the first day in May that reminds you that eventually summer will come. Glorious.
Of course, with any Taiwanese city, the main event is the food, and Tainan didn't disappoint. Their famous shrimp rolls, which I was a bit nervous to try, since I tend to steer clear of seafood, were absolutely DELICIOUS, tasting mostly of onion. So was the shaved ice we had later (though it tasted of strawberry and sweetened condensed milk, thankfully). And the coffin-cover bread with which we finished out the day.
Probably the highlight of my day was the Anping Tree House, which is actually an old warehouse from the early days of European-Asian trade which has been abandoned to the banyan trees, which in turn eagerly incorporated themselves into the floors, walls, windows and even roofs of the giant building. The even coils of banyan root run everywhere over the old brickwork, giving the impression that you've stumbled into ruins much older than a few hundred years, and perhaps at the center of an Indiana Jones film.
Also at Anping Tree House (and everywhere else), Rachel and I re-encountered the blatant stares and paparazzi-like photo-stalking of us which we had seen in mainland China in our various excursions there. It's interesting, really: for the most part, Taiwanese people are largely unphased by our clearly-Western presence (though not enough to stop the steady flow of 'hello's which sound oddly like the speaker is half cat-calling, half proudly practicing his one English word that we got multiple times today), but mainland Chinese tourists are still awestruck and fascinated by us. Go sight-seeing in Taiwan, and you feel like you're back in mainland China--and you realize how very normal your life in Kaohsiung is.
But here I encounter once again my as-yet-unnamed situation in which I have no energy left to write about my day because I simply had too much fun living it. And, while I have no school tomorrow, thanks to Sports Day yesterday, my morning should still be at least existent, if not early. And this is a very late night.
Labels:
Anping Tree House,
Chinese,
host family,
Tainan,
Taiwanese,
Taiwanese food
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Sports Day and Christmas shopping
Yesterday, for the first time, I wore jeans and a sweatshirt to school. And was chilly not just on the drive there, but as students opened the door and came in, clutching their jackets against the burst of cold air. It finally felt like, if not Winter, at least Fall.
Which is why it felt somewhat natural to start my Christmas shopping today.
There's a massive artisan market literally across the street from my apartment which sets up shop every weekend and, thanks to the hint of a chill in the air--I was torn between wearing a sweatshirt or taking it off, while the Taiwanese people around me were uniformly wrapped in heavy coats, some also donning hats and scarves--the sidewalks were mostly clear.
It was great, and I was able to grab several wonderful things for my family back home. As I walked along the street with Rachel, a street performer played Christmas songs on a violin, and that, combined with the odd number of booths which would have looked equally at home at my church's yearly craft fair at home, made me feel like I should be back in the States, sipping hot cocoa in front of the fireplace in my parents' house.
At the same time, though, today I felt more at home in Taiwan than I've felt yet. I went to Hanmin's Sports Day, which basically played out like a massive all-school track and field meet, and was greeted by dozens of my students from all my classes, in addition to some of their parents and several of my coworkers. I fit; I was part of the community, moving easily among the crowd despite the fact that I was the only Westerner in the crowd. I talked with students while watching relay races, hearing Louis proclaim his love for me in halting English as Anson (whose English is perfect) tried to bait him into telling me he wanted to marry me. Oh, 5th graders.
It was great to see all of my students enjoying themselves so thoroughly, and to get to be a fly on the wall in an entirely different situation. I love getting to see different aspects of their personalities, and getting to see some of them with their parents was wonderful.
After the festivities, I finally took the initiative to stop by the little helmet shop across the street, the one where I've been promising myself for months I'd stop and see about buying another good helmet, so I'll have two for visitors. Turns out, they have exactly what I've been looking for, and my broken conversation with the shop's very friendly owner was great. I didn't buy today, but I'm thinking I will on Tuesday--it only feels right to pay into the community where I'm beginning to feel so very much at home.
The chilly air helps, of course, as does feeling like I'm actually part of the community here. But still, with Christmas coming, I wish I were at home, with family, experiencing the season in its entirety. At least, failing that, I still get some beautiful little holiday moments here in Kaohsiung.
Which is why it felt somewhat natural to start my Christmas shopping today.
There's a massive artisan market literally across the street from my apartment which sets up shop every weekend and, thanks to the hint of a chill in the air--I was torn between wearing a sweatshirt or taking it off, while the Taiwanese people around me were uniformly wrapped in heavy coats, some also donning hats and scarves--the sidewalks were mostly clear.
It was great, and I was able to grab several wonderful things for my family back home. As I walked along the street with Rachel, a street performer played Christmas songs on a violin, and that, combined with the odd number of booths which would have looked equally at home at my church's yearly craft fair at home, made me feel like I should be back in the States, sipping hot cocoa in front of the fireplace in my parents' house.
At the same time, though, today I felt more at home in Taiwan than I've felt yet. I went to Hanmin's Sports Day, which basically played out like a massive all-school track and field meet, and was greeted by dozens of my students from all my classes, in addition to some of their parents and several of my coworkers. I fit; I was part of the community, moving easily among the crowd despite the fact that I was the only Westerner in the crowd. I talked with students while watching relay races, hearing Louis proclaim his love for me in halting English as Anson (whose English is perfect) tried to bait him into telling me he wanted to marry me. Oh, 5th graders.
It was great to see all of my students enjoying themselves so thoroughly, and to get to be a fly on the wall in an entirely different situation. I love getting to see different aspects of their personalities, and getting to see some of them with their parents was wonderful.
After the festivities, I finally took the initiative to stop by the little helmet shop across the street, the one where I've been promising myself for months I'd stop and see about buying another good helmet, so I'll have two for visitors. Turns out, they have exactly what I've been looking for, and my broken conversation with the shop's very friendly owner was great. I didn't buy today, but I'm thinking I will on Tuesday--it only feels right to pay into the community where I'm beginning to feel so very much at home.
The chilly air helps, of course, as does feeling like I'm actually part of the community here. But still, with Christmas coming, I wish I were at home, with family, experiencing the season in its entirety. At least, failing that, I still get some beautiful little holiday moments here in Kaohsiung.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Read This, Not That
I do a lot of reading these days. It's one of the great joys of my life now that I have the time to read for pleasure, and I have been taking full advantage of it, plowing through my subscription to The New Yorker in addition to such diverse titles as Atonement, A Tale of Two Cities, Barrel Fever (David Sedaris' short stories and essays), The Anglo Files (exactly what it sounds like), Absalom, Absalom! (Faukner....forever.....and ever....) and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, amongst others.
Intermixed with all this print (and Kindle) media has been a lively assortment of online offerings, notably from Cracked.com, the Washington Post (shout-out to Melissa, who's been interning there and wrote some FANTASTIC pieces for them!), the New York Times, various friends' blogs, and MSNBC. So, a bit of diversity there, too.
Then there is my other reading. The stuff I'm slightly, but not terribly, ashamed of: I'm currently reading The Hunger Games.
Yes, it's young adult fiction. Yes, it has a fairly predictable plot revolving around some very teenage characters and ideas. Yes, it has a massive endorsement by Stephenie Meyer on the front.
But. It is entirely unlike Meyer's infamous Twilight saga.
The Hunger Games is currently being made into a movie; seeing the trailer inspired me at last to take up this series which has spread like wildfire amongst not just YA readers but those of my generation, too.
And with good reason. Author Suzanne Collins effectively side-steps every pitfall into which Meyers falls, providing compelling, multidimensional characters (unlike Meyers' cardboard ones); a strong female character with actual goals (other than, you know, get a boyfriend and avoid dying); and an actually coherent usage of both the English language and basic storytelling principals (as opposed to pages full of gratuitous adverbs and useless description).
In short, I would recommend it to anyone with a day to spare--because you will read it in one day. Even with work, sleep, and trying everything I could to slow myself down (reading other stuff, watching TV, etc), it took me less than 24 hours from the time I borrowed the first book from Emily until the time I put it down and went in search of the second book.
It has rekindled, to some extent, my faith in the genre, able to provide an easy break from reality into a fascinating world populated by teenagers--and that faith definitely needed the boost. Now, I compare notes with Emily for other well-written YA novels, and find myself remembering the amazingness of those I read in breaks before rehearsals in high school. I expect to revisit them soon.
Because that's the point of reading for pleasure: it's supposed to be pleasurable. And if that means that, on occasion, you reach for The Hunger Games over the newest Booker Prize winner, I don't see a problem with that--as long as you leave Twilight to gather dust.
Intermixed with all this print (and Kindle) media has been a lively assortment of online offerings, notably from Cracked.com, the Washington Post (shout-out to Melissa, who's been interning there and wrote some FANTASTIC pieces for them!), the New York Times, various friends' blogs, and MSNBC. So, a bit of diversity there, too.
Then there is my other reading. The stuff I'm slightly, but not terribly, ashamed of: I'm currently reading The Hunger Games.
Yes, it's young adult fiction. Yes, it has a fairly predictable plot revolving around some very teenage characters and ideas. Yes, it has a massive endorsement by Stephenie Meyer on the front.
But. It is entirely unlike Meyer's infamous Twilight saga.
The Hunger Games is currently being made into a movie; seeing the trailer inspired me at last to take up this series which has spread like wildfire amongst not just YA readers but those of my generation, too.
And with good reason. Author Suzanne Collins effectively side-steps every pitfall into which Meyers falls, providing compelling, multidimensional characters (unlike Meyers' cardboard ones); a strong female character with actual goals (other than, you know, get a boyfriend and avoid dying); and an actually coherent usage of both the English language and basic storytelling principals (as opposed to pages full of gratuitous adverbs and useless description).
In short, I would recommend it to anyone with a day to spare--because you will read it in one day. Even with work, sleep, and trying everything I could to slow myself down (reading other stuff, watching TV, etc), it took me less than 24 hours from the time I borrowed the first book from Emily until the time I put it down and went in search of the second book.
It has rekindled, to some extent, my faith in the genre, able to provide an easy break from reality into a fascinating world populated by teenagers--and that faith definitely needed the boost. Now, I compare notes with Emily for other well-written YA novels, and find myself remembering the amazingness of those I read in breaks before rehearsals in high school. I expect to revisit them soon.
Because that's the point of reading for pleasure: it's supposed to be pleasurable. And if that means that, on occasion, you reach for The Hunger Games over the newest Booker Prize winner, I don't see a problem with that--as long as you leave Twilight to gather dust.
Labels:
books,
Cracked.com,
reading,
The Hunger Games,
The New Yorker
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Moments from Today
I woke up this morning with a headache. ""What a perfect accompaniment for my day of teaching unruly 6th graders," I thought to myself as I scootered in to work.
The first class confirmed my suspicions that it was going to be rough, grabbing all the props I brought in for our "Where are you going?" game and making me break out mean-teacher-Bekah a few times.
But they also gave me a couple wonderful little moments that I thought I'd share.
The first class confirmed my suspicions that it was going to be rough, grabbing all the props I brought in for our "Where are you going?" game and making me break out mean-teacher-Bekah a few times.
But they also gave me a couple wonderful little moments that I thought I'd share.
- For calling roll I've been mixing it up a bit, and today students had to tell me their favorite animals. Best one: dinosaur
- After school, one of my more troublesome students, AJ, walked over to the classroom phone and pretended to call me. We got a nice little exchange going on
- To reinforce the place names we were learning, I asked my students what they did in each one. "What do you do at the restaurant?" "Eat food!" "What do you do at the park?" "Walk the dog!" and then--- "What do you do at the hospital?" "DIE!" hahah
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