Top 10 Things I Won't Miss About Taiwan

Author's note: I have had a WONDERFUL time in Taiwan; please check out my companion list to this one for proof of that. But I thought it fitting, since I'm leaving, to remind myself of why it's not all bad to be going home--so this was my way of doing that.

10. Having to check all movies etc to make sure they are in English
          OK, so this was only actually an issue once, last week when Tiffiany, Rachel and I went to see Brave and left two Chinese-dubbed lines in. But it will be very nice when I won't have to scrutinize every film title and description to be sure it's in English. In general, having English-language media readily available again will be a wonderful thing.


9. Having to watch my vocabulary and speed when talking 
          I don't particularly mind doing this, and I've gotten quite used to adjusting my speech to the English level of those around me--my students, for instance--but it will be much easier when I can turn that part of my brain off and just talk.

8. Being dirty all the time
         In the same category: having my clothes get dirty all the time; having my shoes get dirty all the time; having my apartment be dirty all the time. No amount of caution or cleaning can help you when it's in the air.

7. Cockroaches
        *Shudder* 'Nuff said.

6. Scootering in the rain
          I love scootering--when it's nice out. When it's not, well...just see the last post I wrote on the subject. Being the constant subject of showers of street water is not exactly my idea of a good time.

5. Not being able to find potatoes on any menu, ever
          I love potatoes. When asked my favorite food, that is usually my answer. So, when the only variety you can ever find them in is french fried, and that rarely, I get a little sad. And then a lot sad. Really, Taiwan, you're missing out on an amazing food here!

4. Being surrounded by bad drivers on poorly designed streets
          I've written before my conclusions of why scootering in Taiwan is so difficult. Several times, actually. What it boils down to is this: badly designed roads and people who don't pay attention to things like right-of-way or the traffic laws. I won't miss that. (And yes, I realize that in conjunction with what I said yesterday, this makes me a massive hypocrite. I don't care.)

3. Having bones and skin and fat make up the majority of every "meat" dish on any menu
          In America, we like our meat as meat only: no skin (too much fat!), no bones (too much work!), no fat (see "no skin"). In Taiwan, they're much better about not wasting things (and/or have less of a market for our other uses for these materials, like hot dogs, perhaps?), and so a slab of "meat" is never a slab: it's a little crosscut of a bone, whichever bone they had handy; your job is to get the bits off it that you like and leave the rest. I will like having "meat" mean just "meat" again.


2. Being drenched in sweat within 5 minutes of walking outside
          I'm from the Pacific Northwest. I don't particularly like sweating, and less still do I like having heat dictate how I dress and how I look--that is, never well. I get quite excited in Taiwan when I'm being picked up (in a car!!) to go somewhere inside (air-conditioning!!), and so can do things like put on makeup and do my hair without the knowledge that it will all be for naught the instant I put on my scooter helmet or walk the few blocks to wherever I'm going.

1. Not being able to communicate above a very basic level
          I've written about this more times than I can count, and certainly more times than I'd like to cross-reference for you now: it is so terribly hard sometimes not to be able to talk to most of the people you come across.Your world becomes very small, excepting the Internet, consisting of the few friends you have that speak English and the few places where you know you can communicate in Chinese--some well-trusted restaurants, for instance, and a single bank. Going anywhere else or doing anything else requires a massive effort, and even when you make that effort, is often incredibly frustrating and may or may not end in success. One very small example is in the realm of small talk, which I wrote about before--I feel so rude not making small talk with people I come across! And yet, the terrible truth is that, at least at the moment, I have no choice in Taiwan. And I won't miss that.

Cockroach

"老師很怕!"

The boys in the front few rows looked back and forth between me and the floor, trying to figure out whether they should believe what they were saying. Jay's eyes showed bemused uncertainty as they shifted: Was it true? Was Teacher Bekah really afraid?

Yes. Yes, to some extent I was.

Why? Well, because the thing crawling around on the floor was a cockroach. Yes, a cockroach, yet there was no screaming, and little panic, just all the students' eyes in the area glued to the ground; every now and then, I saw one of them pick up a bag or something which had apparently gotten in the way.

To reassure me in my apparent unease, Alison turned to me and said "It's okay, it's not a rat."

Wait, it's a possibility that it could have been a rat? Annnd there go the days when I thought my feet were safe walking around school.

Now, I've largely gotten used to cockroaches here in Taiwan; despite never having seen one outside of a cage before I moved here, I feel like I've adjusted pretty well. After the first few encounters were past, they became a normal, if unnerving, sight. I can now kill and dispose of them as needed, and though they still startle me if, for instance, they appear from nowhere inside the toilet bowl (it's happened), and I can't fathom what Rachel had to go through with finding one in her helmet--after driving to school with it on (yup, also happened), I can usually deal with them OK.

But see, when I say "deal with them," I mean "kill them in the quickest way possible and dispose of the body." Apparently, though, a cockroach in a classroom here is not that big a deal--not even as big of a deal as a bee in a classroom (which I encountered a few months ago but I can't seem to find the post to link it...). The reaction today was, at least initially, "carry on!" After a bit my nervousness and the kids' distraction prompted us to try to kill it, but even then, when it scurried out from under foot, everything went back to normal, and no one seemed to mind--not Alison, not the kids, and not the homeroom teacher, whose desk was right next to the bookcase it had sought for cover. Just me.

So yeah, I was a bit scared. Because, in my book, there's nothing quite so bad as something dirty and shifty that you know is there but that you can't see. Apart from that, my day was great--we had an acting competition involving kids as chickens and robots, and a game with "punishments" like turning in a circle 10 times, patting your head and rubbing your stomach, and--always a crowd favorite--giving someone else a hug.

So it was a great day--except for the part with the cockroach. Yes, Jay, I was a little scared. Do you blame me?

火锅 and cousins

I forget how much I love family, and family gatherings. Until I do things like I did tonight, going with my host family and extended family to a hot pot restaurant, then back to their place to play board games. It was a wonderful, three-generation gathering, and I got to meet Margaret's parents (it was her dad's birthday) and her brother and sister-in-law, as well as their three adorable daughters! And, on top of all of that, I had hot pot (火锅)for the first *real* time, and it was absolutely delicious.

The hot pot restaurant they took us to was stupendous, and had everything imaginable to eat. It was actually a hot pot/buffet, so in addition to the wall of hot pot ingredients, they also had everything from sushi to hot dogs to chocolate and strawberry fondue; watermelon juice to almond tea to Coca-Cola in glass bottles. But, apart from the drinks (and the fondue) I didn't even touch their other options, as I was too focused on the hot pot itself.

If you've never had hot pot, first of all, you should. Second of all, let me explain: you order a flavored broth (the place we went had everything from "original" to miso to Italian tomato to curry, which I ordered), and then go get a whole bunch of raw foods from the buffet. Back at your table, you discover a full pot of your broth and a heat control beneath it; you basically just drop in your ingredients, let them cook, and dig in!

It's simple, but brilliant.

My uncooked pile of goodies and the broth I later used to cook it

 And amongst the delicious food (they even had beef!!!), I got to meet my host family's family. And they are FANTASTIC. Not that I expected any less from my fabulous host family--they are altogether some of my favorite people ever. :) 

Emily and cousins!

Family!

Margaret's brother's kids, Bunny, Jenny, and Mumu (she doesn't have an English name yet; they invited me to help give her one!) are 13, 9, and almost 2, and, as odd as it sounds, I hadn't realized how much I missed hanging out with kids. Yes, I know, that's pretty much all I do here, but being someone's teacher is an altogether different dynamic than being someone's cousin and, with 21 cousins back at home, I missed that relationship.

No need now! Bunny and Jenny both have excellent English (Bunny's is better, as she's older and so has had more time to study), and they remind me of our family friends Shelby and Kendra, back home--same sisterly dynamic and  (for Jenny, at least) same personalities. Also, she pretty much IS my cousin Lindsey. About halfway through our meal, Jenny began spending more time at our table than her own, and insisted on bringing me to get, first fondue, and then ice cream. I wasn't hungry at that point, but I couldn't possibly say no to her!

Who could?

 Then she began quizzing me on my Chinese, and I began swapping simple sentences with her in English and Chinese "I am from America"/ "我 是 美國來" and "You are in the middle in your family. Me too!" (Emily had to translate on that one, but it made Jenny happy.) Eventually, Bunny joined the conversation and the cousin dynamics deepened.

Outside the restaurant, talking with my new-found cousins

 We headed back to James, Margaret, and Emily's place and Jenny immediately took control of the situation, breaking out the Taiwanese version of Monopoly (whose Chinese name directly translated to 'rich man,' incidentally), and proceeded to make what can be a relatively slow game into a fast-paced one, slapping dice into peoples' hands and moving for them if they were too slow. 

I, meanwhile, tried to follow simultaneously the game and the flow of conversation, in Chinese and English, which was passing over, around, and towards me from all of the adults. Everyone was speaking at once; many times several people were speaking to me at once, and I couldn't even begin to catch everything that was said, even in English, especially as Jenny commandeered my attention every few seconds or so for the game, but it was glorious. My family gatherings always consist of loud, boisterous conversations on all sides, punctuated by kids' queries; I was right at home!

After a while, we had birthday cake for Margaret's dad, who was turning 80, and sang him Happy Birthday in English and Chinese. (I just clapped for the Chinese part, but it was fun nonetheless.) Mumu, who had been alternately "playing" with the Monopoly pieces and grinning at me and others, figured all this attention was for her, and so perched herself in front of grandpa behind the cake--so as to be able to blow out her candles, of course! (Which she later did.)

Adorable.

After cake, Jenny busted out the Uno game and insisted I teach her how to play, then she, Bunny, Emily and I started the game, which Bunny promptly won, leaving an eventual 2nd place to Emily as Jenny and I commiserated with an arm wrestling game. Just like home, hanging out with my little cousins. :)

Meanwhile, Bunny took advantage of her free time to draw some stupendous sketches of the four of us, plus Mumu.

Eventually, it was time to say goodbye, and as I shared an over-enthusiastic hand-shake with Jenny, who had promised to invite me to the *next* family birthday, I hoped I wouldn't have to wait that long. I love family; love my family; love now having two families, one in America and one in Taiwan.

*** 

Side note: After my great evening with my family, Karina and I headed to the Young People's Shopping District to take photobooth pictures. I was able to find the place without a problem (accomplishment 1) and the pictures turned out FANTASTICALLY! (accomplishment 2). Therefore, I give you...

 Side note 2: This evening, Karina, who is staying the night, stepped out of my bed room to encounter a 3" cockroach flailing its legs in the air on our floor, just moments after telling me she is cursed with bringing cockroaches with her wherever she goes. Point proven, as I trapped it in an old tea cup and Rachel saved the day, drowning it in Raid. Seriously, though, Karina is like the Pied Piper of cockroaches...

La Cucaracha

Pretend this was posted on August 26. The main events described in fact happened around 3am August 27, but that's neither here nor there: I didn't sleep that night, so it's still the 26th in my mind. Also, due to an all-around late night, combined with three days of different time zones, the day my blog is missing a post is the 26th. So, just bear with me. This is August 26.

As I mentioned briefly earlier, I spent this weekend getting to, preparing for, taking part in, and getting back from my brother Alex's wedding in the States. The first part of the journey took place on Friday, as (after a rather stressful Ikea trip and a visit to Karina's potential future apartment) Karina and I took High Speed Rail from Kaohsiung to Taipei, crossing the country from South to North in a dazzling hour and a half.

When we got there, we were met by Karina's friend Tom, who went to school with her and is now back in Taipei doing his year of mandatory military service. Then we went back to Tom's apartment--a great little studio the size of a private dorm room but much, much nicer--and basically just hung out for a while until Karina and Tom's other friend from college, Rosanna, met up with us.

The four of us hit up a night market--some, but not all, of which was still open at that point, since it was past midnight--and then went back to Tom's place. We then decided, essentially, not to sleep.

Which turned out to be a good thing, for herein begins the saga of the drama that night.

We found a cockroach. And I'm not talking about a little, guy; no, this cockroach was roughly half the size of my hand. And, as it turns out, neither Karina, Tom nor I can deal well with cockroaches. So our response was to stare it down for a long while, daring it to move from its hiding place behind the TV. Not all too effective for getting rid of him.

Eventually, Tom went down to 7-11 for bug spray. But even with the spray, it was a four-way dance of "Do you see him?" "He's under the support behind the TV." "Where are you seeing that? What do you see?" "I can see his antennae" "Are you sure it's not just the wiring?" "Yes, they just moved. Just spray in that little hole..." *the cockroach scurries to the other side of the TV* "Wait, he just moved again!"

And this little bugger was tough. We sprayed him behind the TV; we sprayed him behind the TV again; we sprayed him below the counter by the refrigerator where he hid next; we pulled out the refrigerator and sprayed him again. And again. And again. (And, of course, when I say 'we' in this, I really mean 'Tom'.) By the time his upside-down legs stopped moving (why oh WHY are cockroaches' leg so freakishly long?!?!) we had been at it for at least a half hour, and Tom's apartment was absolutely filled with spray, as if we were trying to exterminate ourselves in the process.

So we opened the window, turned on the fan, and evacuated the building.For an hour. At 2am.

We had fun; we grabbed drinks from the 7-11 and then hung out in a little park down the street, but we were all still jumpy; myself especially. Every little noise caught my full attention, in case we had another unwelcome visitor.

So we headed back to Tom's less-toxic apartment at around 3am, knowing full well that I would have to leave for the airport that morning by 6am at the latest. And we sprawled sideways across the bed and took a nap for the next day, since really, that was all we could have done at that point.

The next day Tom took me to the shuttle bus station and I set off for the States, sleep-deprived from the start.
So that was my Taipei adventure! I will need to go back sometime soon, when I don't have to catch a plane the next day and we don't find a cockroach and have to kill it and evacuate.

But it was fun for the first time. :)